Soph

Before bed one night when I was cat-sitting for a friend and was alone in their apartment, I connected to my higher self. I shared with them that I was in a space where I could start healing. I requested content withheld from me (traumas, discoveries, learnings) to please be revealed, so I could start working with it. I went to bed as a nonbinary person. I woke up the next day with some stark realizations, realizations that my gender was FAR more masculine than I had been aware of until this point. I suddenly realized I needed to consider getting top surgery, look up the process for changing my name (I had a feminine-presenting name at the time), add he/him to my pronouns, and that as soon as I got home I needed to donate some clothing that no longer represented me. It became clear that if I was going to be true to myself and progress spiritually, I needed to make some uncomfortable decisions that my family and friends might not initially understand- in order to become visibly transmasculine.

Graphic medicine novels like Boys Run the Riot and Gender Queer, online comics by ND Stevenson, queer social media groups, friends encouraging me to experiment with pronouns see how they feel, gender-affirming healthcare, and trans/queer and ally health providers and holistic healers.